


Your 'hateful' Neighbours

by UnknownRegion



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Gender-fluid Reader, Greedy human nature, Human Cruelty, Mage Reader, Monster Slaves, Named(?) Reader, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Reader-Interactive, Slavery, Tsundere Reader, Workaholic Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-23 07:46:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownRegion/pseuds/UnknownRegion
Summary: You don't give a crap about race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, disability, or whatever else people categorize others into. You only cared about work. So when the unit next to you was occupied, you ignored the two skeletons and their human owner, more preoccupied with getting shit done.... That is until they kept disturbing the peace.Oh, hell no. This workaholic needs silence!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GenderlessPerson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenderlessPerson/gifts).



> So... I made yet another, uh, story. Again. Anyway, this idea was the only thing my plot bunnies wanted to give birth to, so I had no choice but to obey. 
> 
> Basically, you, the reader, are an **immortal mage**. But that's not important. What's important is that you're a workaholic. ~~You are also a tsundere~~. You just want to work your whole life, ignoring others in favour of developing games. But, no. Your new neighbours are noisy. So what do you do? You get involved in their shit.  
>  So what will you do now? Are you just going to turn a blind eye and continue letting your 'hateful' neighbours continue being slaves just because of their race? Or are you going to do something with your OP magic? Or maybe take the subtle path? 
> 
> This time, it's a reader interaction fic. So there'll be voting at the end of each chapter after the prologue! Yay! Sounds fun?
> 
> P.S. I do not own Undertale, obviously. Toby Fox is the genius behind this awesome game.

You hated your neighbours.

Especially the ones that just moved in a month ago right beside of your unit. They were situated at the corner, with you the only person living next to them. On the opposite side were the stairs and lobby area, so others on the same floor did not hear them as loudly as you did.

And because the walls are thin, you could hear them intimately - especially the one who loves to shout.

Once again, you climbed the couch to gain access to smack the wall.

"Shut up! I'm trying to fucking work here!"

There were a few muffled voices coming from the other side of the wall, probably talking shite about you, before the one you know as the human living in unit 10 shouted back.

"Sorry, neighbour! Won't happen again!"

Yeah, right.

It happened **every**.  single. _day_.

You turned away from the wall and jumped back into the computer chair, your multiple screens and laptops already filled with documents, games, and codings.

You were a game developer as well as an author.  

The games you developed were rich with story and plot due to your love for dramatics. You love creating traditional RPG games, but always with a twist in the storyline.

Like the latest game you released. The fans went gaga over it.

The whole time, the player was oblivious to having been manipulated by the character they control, with the player actually being a 'powerful phantom' hitching a ride in the character's head. So the character they control was actually always interacting with them because they needed the player's help with 'fulfiling a hidden destiny'. So at the end of the game, the character actually sucked dry all of the player's 'energy'. The jerk of a character even moved closer to the screen so that the player could see a close up as they laughed in the face of the shocked players, before letting loose a demented and creepy 'since when were you the one in control?'. 

You even voice acted that one line yourself. Making sure to make your voice as high pitched and creepy as possible. Usually, you didn't add voices to your games, but you couldn't resist. It was a worthy troll when the streamers and YouTubers actually shrieked in pure terror. 

The reviews you got for that game was off the charts, but for the others, they were decent enough that your reputation soared and a lot of companies fought to hire you. You, however, preferred to be your own boss. So with patience, dedication, and hard work, you created every single one of your game characters, their backstories, the background music, the sound effects, the dialogues, the graphics - everything. 

It took years just to complete a single game. Sometimes even reaching a decade.

And now, after your record of continued success, you were beyond rich since you were the only one earning the dough of the million gamers who bought your creations. 

Now, many may be wondering how old you were just by the description given above. Well, you were actually someone not of this era. Or better yet, you are a mage who, in your youth, crazed at the idea of immortality. 

You chased after legends, created mad rituals, and even sacrificed thousands to achieve your goal.

And succeed you did. 

Kinda reminds you of Lord Voldemort, by the way. But with a nose. And hair. And normal skin colour. And... not as insane? 

Anyway, after a millennium of being alive... well, you grew up. Obviously.

Till this day, you seriously wished you had the means to invent a time machine - just so you could smack your younger self silly. Sadly, the technology of this age has yet to progress that much, and you dared not tell others that you had magic and the capabilities to create something similar to fucking JARVIS from Iron Man. 

Eh, you have already created an AI that was on a lesser scale to Jarvis, actually. But, details. You already offlined that little fuck, anyway. 

During your long years of living, you learnt a lot of skills. Even an idiot without talent could become a genius after centuries of practice. Yes, you were a cheat if you compared your 'talent' in blacksmith to the people now, but honestly, who still practised the art of making swords.

Er, no offence to those that do make swords for a living. 

Anyway, the point was, if someone told you to do something, you were 95% sure you could do it. Everything became boring soon enough... Until the age of technology, that is.

It was new, and because electronics, in general, were bizarre. Everyone learnt at the same pace. Sure, your techie schoolmates were now in their respective graves or nursing homes due to old age, but technology as a whole was not something you could ever master because it kept evolving. 

So after centuries of boredom... you finally found something you wanted to do! 

Oh, and being an author was a fun hobby. The stories you wrote were most of the time about your own adventures, but people simply believed it to be fiction. So, yeah. Easy money by simply writing the story of your life. 

But back at hand... 

Your neighbours.

Ugh.

Fucking skeletons and their owner.

Alright, people might be wondering; skeletons? They killers or something?

Nope. Just Monsters.

Let's go back to three years in the past.

The first appearance of Monsters shocked the whole world - not you, though, since you did live with them once upon a time. 

They appeared with a kid, only thirteen years of age, and humans welcomed them with guns and missiles. 

Nah, just kidding. The missiles, you meant. That was fake. The guns, on the other hand, were 100% truth. 

The government around the world were wary of the Monsters at first, but they did give them homes and all that. Just to lure the naive fools into a sense of security, you suppose. After a few months of nothing really happening, an incident occurred that shook the entire world.

The Monster ambassador had been telling a speech to the media at an open location, near the Whitehouse actually, and they had so many supporters. The public was beginning to accept Monsterkind as their neighbour.

And then it happened.

The child was assassinated.

The queen went ballistic.

But before she could react, however, a Monster that was supposed to be the bodyguard stepped too close to the ambassador's soul - thus absorbing it in front of live TV. Of course, the world governments did not take well to this discovery.

After having killed the 'Beast' with firepower, Monsters were soon dusted left to right.

But then... scientists and researchers invented a collar with the 'help' of the Monsters they captured. This collar causes the magic inside the Monsters to obey the orders of humans. Soon enough, humans began to hunt Monsters for captivity, slaves, or pets.

To you, it was very disgusting, yet wholly realistic. Humans were naturally afraid of things they do not understand. Hell, humans hated each other based on the different appearance, ethnicity, race, sexuality, religion - anyway, to sum it up, humans hated each other. You already lived through many eras of slavery, and when the modern era finally slapped itself and said NO to slavery... It was reformed again.

You didn't know whether to be disappointed or just... wait until another century or two to see if there would be changes. Actually, you already gave up on humanity long ago. Your race? Not human, definitely. Immortal mage? Or maybe you should start calling yourself an elf after disfiguring your ears to have those pointy tips. 

... Er, better not. Looks painful. And it would make blending in more difficult. 

Anyway, you digressed, again.

For now, the collar was truly concerning. You didn't know how the collar works. From horror stories, however, you found out that it restricts magic, as well as causes the words of those that have a human soul to be law to those that wear the collar.

Humans were unaffected, though. You, however, did not want to test it. You weren't like those other humans who did not have magic. So you stayed far from any Monsters. As far as possible.

And after moving into this neighbourhood that was anti-Monsters (although you seriously did not care about race/religion/or whatever bullshit), you let your guard down.

Who knew that a human would move in with 2 skeleton Monster slaves. And one that was loud as fuck. 

You didn't know why the human didn't command the loud skeleton to shut his trap, and you even heard laughter and joy from the apartment next to you, so you assume that the owner was pro-Monsters.

Good for them.

But bad for you because you can't concentrate on your job if that damn-

"NYEHHH!!! HUMAN! DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM! HE WILL BE UNBEARABLE WITH HIS PUNS!"

Your face crashed into your keyboard as you groaned loudly. You stood up, walked around your curved computer table, and climbed your couch. With a depressed air, you punched the wall a few times, ignoring how the plaster was cracking up.

"Shut! Up! Oh my tian! I swear to Allah, Buddha, Jesus, Murugan, hell even Satan or whichever god or demon you're praying to if you don't keep your volume down I will drill all of your heads and make dusty lasagna with you three as the main ingredients! You poopheads!"

The silence was bliss...

... Until you heard a booming, belly-deep laughter at your threat(?). It was definitely that shitty skeleton that tells jokes in the middle of the night-morning.

You gave up.

With a groan of despair, you buried your face into the sofa and covered your ears with the pillow.

Just another usual day with your hateful neighbours.

* * *

Floorplans!

  
The apartment complex ^

 

  
Your apartment ^  
  


  
Your favorite place; AKA your study ^

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It brings me great sadness to inform you that I won't be able to update any of my works frequently because of Uni.  
> On the other hand, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 
> 
> Thanks for reading this! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯


	2. Out of the norm

The morning was, unexpectedly, going well for you today. 

Your character designs were all complete after a year of planning, and you even managed to slot in some time for snacks before you went back to coding those that had complicated backstories that were essential for the game's plot. Now that you were finished with the NPCs, you focused solely on the player-character. 

The study was filled with typing noises as fingers flew across the three keyboards surrounding you. One might wonder how the hell this was possible because this ain't anime. But, heh, everyone didn't know you were a mage. The help you summoned were godsent. Without your magic, your progress would've been delayed by months - maybe even years.

With the phantom gloved hands and blank masks floating above the keyboards and laptops, you basically had a team of experts at your beck and call. The only downside was that they had no free will so they depended on your knowledge and experiences.

You hummed a random song as you work, not even noticing that the day has already turned to night. It was only when a small part of you wondered why your hateful neighbours were so quiet today... that you heard a loud bang, indicating that someone had thrown the front door open.

You were jolted out from your 'zone', before inwardly scolding yourself for the jinx. 

Speak of the devil.

Or in this case, devil **s**. Plural because even the human was a nightmare.

"IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HOME!"

And there's the noisy one. Always announcing his presence by being deafening loud. 

"Shh. Papy we don't want to wake our neighbour up. They need their beauty sleep."

Please whisper softer, oh stupid human. 

... And was that sarcasm? Well, fuck you, too, arsehole! 

With your concentration broken, the magic that sustained the phantoms wavered, causing them to spasm before they disappeared altogether. 

Goodbye, mini team of experts. 

Hello, another night of unproductivity.

"OH, RIGHT. SORRY, NEIGHBOUR! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, APOLOGIZE FOR MAYBE WAKING YOU UP!!"

You facepalmed. 

Idiot.

A complete idiot.

"Phew. It seems they're asleep for once."

Highly unlikely, but you kept your silence and hope for the best. Maybe, just maybe, they'll try to keep their voices down now?

"Wait. Where's your bro- HOLY SHIT!!! Don't do that, Sans!"

"NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE, HUMAN FRIEND!"

"heh. ain't that right, paps."

"Ha ha ha. Hilarious. Feel my sarcasm. Why are you wearing a Ghostface mask? Or better yet, how the hell did you get it?"

"isn't it obvious? i wanted to see you _scream_. as to how i got it? maaaagic."

"... Keep your jazz hands away from my face. Ever heard of personal space, bone boy?"

"only _outer_ space."

You facepalmed, along with whoever that made that huge THUMP noise. They probably facewall rather than facepalm, though. 

"Saaaaans! Let's not continue this. I'm so tired...!!!"

"don't you mean; _bone tired_?"

"NYEHHHHH!!! ENOUGH!!! YOU ARE PROHIBITED FROM SAYING PUNS AT THIS HOUR, SANS!"

"aww. come on, paps. where's your _funny bone_?"

"BURIED 6 FEET UNDER. WHERE YOU WILL ACCOMPANY IT IF YOU DON'T STOP!!"

"Uh, guys... Let's just go to sleep... Driving for 10 hours straight is really... haa."

You viciously wished they had crashed during their drive. Or, at least, took a long road trip. Your gaming fans had been quite vocal about their impatience these few months. Not that you bothered to keep them updated about mundane things such as your new neighbours keeping you from actually be able to do some real work. 

"SLEEP!? SANS, LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOUR LAZINESS HAS INFLUENCED OUR HUMAN!"

Well, at least now you know why the loud one rarely shuts up. He thought sleeping was a sign of laziness. 

Not that you could contradict him since sleeping wasn't something you liked to do. 

You preferred a challenge that could be done with your eyes open.

...

Wait.

Did you just...?

Alright. You listened to way too many puns and japery. 

It was time to stop this.

You rounded your curved computer desk, hopped on the sofa, and slapped the wall with your palm. Idly, you wondered if one day, the wall would have your handprint on it, whilst your sofa would have your footprint - from how often you did this as a routine. 

"It's -" your eyes flicked over to the hanging clock before turning back to the wall, glaring at it as if it was the one who offended you. "2 in the morning! Come on!!"

You heard the human yelp as she tumbled down, a painful groan followed soon after.

"S-shit that hurts... Uh, I meant - sorry, neighbour! Shouldn't your bedroom be on the other side, though?"

"Although it is highly uncomfortable that you know my chosen room as my sleeping quarters, I rarely enter that place, you dolt! Now, are you and your pets going to keep it down or do I have to call the oaf we dubbed our landlord?!"

"...pets? listen here you-"

"Sans stop! You know how humans hate it when Monsters disrespect them. I don't want you to be 'put down' because of people complaining about you being feral! Think of Papyrus. What will he do without his brother?!"

Maybe your human neighbour was trying to not be heard, but, as usual, they're too brainless to comprehend the basics of whispering. And unlike the noisy skeleton, they always threw out half-hearted 'sorrys'. You'll only accept the skeleton's apologies, though, because at least his were genuine and sincere.

... Not that you cared or anything. 

Noisy people should just burn in hell. 

Hmph! 

What? You weren't blushing! It's called your blood rising due to anger! 

"Hey, neighbour, I know we have our differences and all that, but they're my roommates. Not pets."

"Tell that to the rest of humanity, kid."

You plopped down onto your sofa and reached for a random treat inside the snack bowl on the side table. Hm, cookies & cream flavoured rondoletti. Nice. 

"A good load that'll do." 

Your neighbour huffed, and even though you have no idea what she (her voice was too high and feminine to be a dude) looks like, you could imagine her pouting with her arms crossed like a little child.

"Ah? So a dullard like you can understand the futility, I see. There's still some hope left for you, after all! This makes things a whole lot easier."

"Dullard...? Futi-.. fatalities...?" 

You heard a few muffled words - the short skeleton. since he's the only one who knows how to talk softly - before your neighbour shrieked.

"I am not slow or stupid!"

The cream wafers you were eating went down the wrong pipe when you heard your neighbour's loud proclamation. You had a coughing fit for at least five minutes, completely ignoring the 'punny' skeleton's laughter at your neighbour's sputtered; "I can't believe they choked! Don't tell me they are so shocked they choked on air?!?!" and the tall skeleton's "HUMAN NEIGHBOUR?! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?!". 

When you finally got your breathing back under control, you continued as if you did not hear them.

"I beg to differ. Especially when you don't even know what dullard means. Now, as much as it pains me to... advice you... learn to treat them as pets in public, at least, you utter moron. Those anti-Monster groups would not hesitate to put a bullet through the useless organ you call a brain. And for your pets? They'll be worse off than you - being an exotic race of Monster and all that.

"You may think you're the only one that supports Monsters, but a small percentage are like you. They just aren't as involved - daring to buy those pets of yours whilst treating them different than the norm. You sure are ballsy. But... As much as I agonize over your intolerable noise level... it is better to just wait for another Abraham Lincoln to be born in... another hundred or so years, I suspect. If you can live that long, maybe, just maybe, by then, slavery would be abolished. Again. Who knows, though? We, humans, are blinded by our own fears and prejudices, fighting each other because we refuse to sit down and listen to the words of others - building weapons of mess destruction just to have an advantage over others.

"Many fights could've been resolved with understanding and acceptance, but no. Of course, not. Greedy and corrupted politicians notwithstanding, even the people are intolerant to drastic changes. We do not care about other people that are different from us. So why should we care about Monsters, a totally different species from us human beings? I have always thought that we could learn a thing or two from them. They come in different forms, yet they cared not about how others look like, their gender, who they love.

"But for us? Just based on skin colour, religion, and sexual orientation, we have already many civil wars. It was only recently that awareness of the LGBT community has been spread far and wide... Although Russia is taking their sweet time with that. Boy, do I remembered how utterly abysmally the situation there was when I visited. Although we know it is ridiculous to judge someone based on who they love, the majority of heterosexual people there still spit in disgust. Especially those of the Christian and Muslim origins.

"And on the topic of religion, just look at ISIS. And then at the world in general. They denied the refugees at first just because of their fear. And let us not forget about that 'Ahmad Mohamed clock incident'. A child - CHILD - was arrested just because of an overly paranoid, racist teacher. Fools. Every single one of them. Need I even go on about skin colour?"

"Uhhh... Maybe?"

"Sigh. Are you an imbecile? No, wait. Don't answer that. Of course, you are. What do you take me for? An encyclopedia? Or Wikipedia to youngsters these days. I would recommend you to read a book, but that would be insulting since you're an illiterate dolt."

"Haaa...? Ok...? Then what's your opinion on Monsters?"

"Hah?! Are you retarded as well?! Did you not hear me rant about- Wait, why am I even wasting my time conversing with a nincompoop like you?!? Just shut up and let me work!"

You threw the metal rondoletti tin at the wall before you stalked over to the door. 

"Gah! What the hell? Did you just throw a bowl or something? ... Neighbour? Hey, neighbour?"

"QUIET! Arghh!!! Gods I can't even go to the toilet without being disturbed! What do you want?!"

Once again, you picked up the rondoletti tin just so you could throw it at the wall again. And again. And again.

"geez, kid. you have anger issues."

"M-MAYBE THE HUMAN NEIGHBOUR IS SHY?"

"Shy?! Me?! Shy??!?! I'll show you shy you boneheaded numbskull! Why I oughta-"

Your human neighbour interrupted yet another one of your rants by doing something completely unexpected.

"Uh, you know, since we've been neighbours for quite some time-"

"Wonder how I've yet to grown deaf by now."

She ignored your hostile words whilst continuing. She was, impressively, getting better at shrugging your venomous insults off. Not that you were going to tell her that. 

"-should we have dinner together? Tomorrow? To get to know each other? I mean, we don't even know your name. Why don't you come over? Do you have any food allergies?"

"Why should I have dinner with such insufferable waste of spaces? So that you could poison me with that monstrosity you call spagh-"

"i don't know, kiddo. maybe our neighbour's too shy, just like paps said? or maybe they don't have the _guts_ to leave their house?"

"HMM... WELL, WE DO NOT WANT TO INTIMIDATE THEM. THEY DO SOUND LITTLE. HUMAN NEIGHBOUR, I APOLOGIZE IF WE SOUND IGNORANT, BUT HOW OLD ARE YOU? DO YOU LIVE AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS? IS THAT WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE? DO YOU WANT THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO HOLD YOUR HAND TO CHASE THOSE FEARS AWAY? I ASSURE YOU THAT WE'RE NOT SCARY!"

...

..

.

You picked up the rondoletti tin... and threw it at the wall. Hard.

That ~~manipulative~~   ~~underhanded~~   ~~dirty~~ insufferable garbage of a skeleton!!!

* * *

 

* * *

 

Alright, readers. It's time to vote! Should you ① go to dinner with such appalling neighbours, or should you ② ignore those dunderheads and report them to your landlord? Or should you ③ Kill them and be done with it. 

Think of this as a tutorial for now. **The first vote** **is** n't that **crucial** because either way, it will bring you closer to your 'hateful' neighbours.  Just for the better or worse. Eh, I think that's considered important, right? Yeah. Maybe it is important. Nah. Can't be. 

ANYWAY! Vote for any of the options! I won't end the story just yet!!

~~... Unless you pick option 3.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh. Cream wafers are the best! (๑ゝڡ◕๑)
> 
> Thank you for your support! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯


	3. Spaghetti outta here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with your hateful neighbours~

You glared with distaste at your neighbour's dirty front door, debating with yourself whether it would be best to wear some gloves before knocking on that thing or pretend this never happened at all.

You held your chin in thought, creating a mental list to weigh the options.

Cons: you didn't know what had been on it.

Cons: some couples have a sick hobby of having intercourse before entering their apartment.

Cons: you might potentially get contaminated by the microorganisms infested on the surface.

Cons: you knew how terrible of a cook the loud skeleton was since your human neighbour would always vomit noisily throughout the days when he _did_ cook. 

Cons: learning their names would mean putting an identity to them.

~~Cons: you might grow attached.~~

Cons: too many to list out.

Pros: ... ??? You can't think of one.

Alright.

This was **definitely** a bad idea.

So you  **might** have lost your temper and rashly agreed to their invitation, but it's just one night, right?

 **And** , at least you got the last word in.

Petty? Yes. Satisfying? **Very**.

The annoying pun-vomiting skeleton had lost his cool when you went on and on about humans and their weird 'fixations' - you also made sure to thoroughly explain what necrophilia means to the loud and innocent one. Your hateful human neighbour had even begged for closure, yelling that a papaya or something looked ready to keel over.

Ah, that was such a relaxing night. You slept like a baby.

The lesson learnt? You should traumatize your neighbours more often.

Now, after all that drama, you stood outside their unit with a last minute gift basket in your hand - the contents inside you knew they would very much appreciate.

... Don't misunderstand, though! It wasn't as if you put in a lot of effort into filling the basket to the brim with prank materials and cooking books and martial arts movies or anything, ok?!? Your hateful neighbours are simply loud with their activities, so you learnt a lot of useless things about them. 

... Once again, you need to correct the imaginary readers in your head that you are not blushing! It's simply a natural reaction of your blood rising from anger at the memories of interrupted work nights!

"SANS, I THINK THE HUMAN NEIGHBOUR IS BROKEN. THEIR FACE IS RED LIKE A TOMATO!! THEY'RE EVEN MAKING FUNNY EXPRESSIONS!"

The loud voice jolted you back to reality, and you finally noticed that there were three idiots standing in the doorway, waiting for you to enter.

You couldn't help but flush in embarrassment. 

Way to make an impression, you!

... Not that you were trying to make a good first impression or anything. 

"Broken? Only your spine will be if you ever connect me to that word ever again."

You murmured darkly as you stepped through the door, making sure to leave a wide margin between you and your neighbours, not wanting to have any sort of physical contact with them.

It has been centuries since you allowed someone to brush up against you - and you'd rather keep it that way, thank you very much. 

You treasured your personal space more than money, and that's saying something since you were the **definition** of a miser.

Without even bothering to wait for them, you head to their living room, making yourself comfortable on the sofa after having thoroughly inspected it to see if it was clean enough. 

The three morons shuffled after you, the human taking the other end of the sofa, whilst the two skeletons sat on the loveseat nearby. 

"So... uh... thanks for coming. Do you want anything to drink?"

You rolled your eyes at the human but, nevertheless, nodded your head in assent. 

"Water will do - cold or hot I mind not."

When she made to stand up, you were quick to shove the gift basket onto her lap, immediately looking away afterwards. 

"O-oh. Thank you. You didn't have to."

"Don't get the wrong idea, girly. It would have been rude otherwise, and I am anything but discourteous."

"... Right..."

Your lips twitched downwards when her body language expressed her disbelief at your last words. So what if you knocked on the walls and yelled at them ~~(like a barbarian)~~ every day since they moved in? They were the ones who started it. So of course, you would retaliate. 

She placed the gift basket on the kitchen bar on her way to fetch you something to drink.

Now that the human was out of the way, you turned to the skeletons, your eyes narrowed as you scrutinized them.

The tall one - you only reached the bottom of his ribs - was wearing an orange sweater with neat pants, a red scarf, socks, and mittens. You stared at him, finding it interesting that his sweat matched his sweater in colour. He was fidgeting in his seat, and for the first time in ages, he wasn't scream-talking. Just quiet. 

The short one - though he was taller than you by a head - wore a fluffy blue hoodie with bunny ears and a tail attached, a black tee that has 'born with a funny bone' and a cartoon bone on it, and cargo shorts. Since he showed more 'skin', your eyes focused on the lower half of his body, tracing the curves of his bony toes and feet. They twitched as if self-conscious of your eyeballing; but you gave no fucks. It has been a long time since you've seen a skeleton Monster - since their kind was the first to perish during the war.

You couldn't see any collar on the taller skeleton's cerebral vertebrae, but maybe that was because they were covered by his scarf. The shorter, on the other hand, has a studded collar (damn, the lass or his previous owner sure has  _weird_ taste) with a metal plate on the side - the words inscribed too small for you to make out (and you didn't want to get anywhere close to it).

Just as you finished with your observations, the human came back, politely handing you a glass of cold water.

You thanked her, albeit reluctantly. 

When she passed by to reclaim her seat on the other edge of the sofa, you decided to take her appearance in - it was only fair, after all.

She was the same height as you (no, she wasn't a few centimetres taller, really, now shut up), with long blonde hair tied into a ponytail. She was wearing a long-sleeved black top and a red knee-length circle skirt, as well as calf-high black socks. 

"Ahem! Once again, thanks for agreeing to this. I'm Emmanuelle Lancaster, but my friends call me Emma. It's, uh, great to finally meet you in person."

Your human neighbour threw you a friendly smile as she waved. You merely tilted your chin up before you looked away, not used to someone actually smiling at you without motive. 

As if a switch has been flipped, the tall skeleton jumped off his seat to strike a 'superhero' pose with his hands on his hipbone and his chest puffed out, the scarf doing a magnificent job of acting like a cape caught in a breeze.

You felt magic being used, but you turned a blind eye. Harmless tricks were not a problem to you - even though the new laws state that Monsters who use magic were to be immediately **put down**.

As petty of a person you are, you would not compromise your own safety just because of your childish need for revenge. Besides, if the moron got dusted, you wouldn't be able to hear any more adventurous tales from him.

... Not that you were paying him much attention or anything during the early mornings when you were tucked into your study's sofa with a relaxed air and a content smile playing on your lips.

"I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS - MASTER CHEF EXTRAORDINAIRE AND A DEVOTEE OF PUZZLES. IT BRINGS ME GREAT PLEASURE TO SEE THAT YOU ARE FINALLY CONNECTING WITH US!"

Without even a change of expression, you nodded mechanically to his introduction. He was, at least, bearable if you had time to prepare yourself for his loudness.

When it was the smaller skeleton's turn, he slouched further into his seat as if to meld with it, a lazy grin sprouting from his skull.  

"sup. name's sans. sans the skeleton. do you wanna hear a wall joke? it's so hilarious i _can't get over_ it."

"SANS!! DON'T SCARE OUR NEW FRIEND AWAY WITH YOUR AWFUL JOKES!"

One of your eyes twitched, but you forced your facial muscles to remain neutral, not wanting to clue him onto your ~~like~~ hatred for puns.

He would be unbearable afterwards. 

"Charmed, I'm sure." although your tone stated anything but. You told them your name with a drawl, "Efstathios Preobrazhensky. Butcher it and I will end you poopooheads in a heartbeat."

Emmanuelle's smile turned forced when she heard your name.

Well, you couldn't blame her. You blame your Greek mother and Russian father. And their horrible naming sense. 

You had felt nostalgic after your visit to Rusia a few years back, so you decided to forge a new identity with your original name. A pain in the arse to write in English, but it was well worth it when you present your passport to immigration. Their faces were **always** hilarious to watch. 

"... care to repeat that, pal?" "... Could you repeat that, please?"

Not even bothering to answer them (native English speakers have a hard time with pronouncing your name), you turned to check your watch.

"Is it time for dinner yet?"

"OH! WHAT BAD HOSTS WE ARE! COME, NEIGHBOUR, LET THE GREAT PAPYRUS GUIDE YOU TO YOUR SEAT."

When all three of you were seated, the tall skeleton Monster bounced around and scooped a plateful of spaghetti for everyone. Judging by Sans's and Lancaster's semi-constipated expression, you could tell that this was the infamous pasta that brought the latter to her knees in front of the toilet bowl every week. 

You warily scanned it with your eyes.

The noodles looked cooked to perfection, and the sauce wasn't of a dreadful consistency. It looks and smells like something a professional chef would've made (only because you enjoy watching Gordon Ramsay), so you twirled your fork around and brought it to your lips. Before you could consume it, however, Lancaster made a sound of protest, which was then discreetly shushed by Sans.

" _bone_ appétit." he winked, looking far too eager. 

"SANS! NO! BAD SANS BAD!!"

This behaviour made you cautious and you wondered if they were japing you right now. The fork was lowered, which made Papyrus pout. 

"WHAT IS WRONG, HUMAN NEIGHBOUR? PLEASE PAY NO MIND TO MY BROTHER'S HOPELESS SENSE OF HUMOR!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MADE MY FAMOUS FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI TO COMMEMORATE YOUR COMING HERE, SO I ADDED A FEW EXTRA SPECIAL INGREDIENTS THAT WOULD DEFINITELY BE TO YOUR LIKING!"

The last part caused the girly's face to turn white as a sheet, her hand covering her lips as if trying to stop the bile from spewing out like a fountain. It made one of your eyes twitch uncontrollably for a second, but you steadied your resolve and fed yourself some of his 'friendship' spaghetti. 

Then you brought another forkful.

And another.

The taste was... exquisite.

You hummed in happiness as you continued to eat, completely missing the look of horror and disgust on Lancaster's face and Sans's disbelieving and disappointed one.

"NYEH HEH HEH! DO YOU LIKE IT, HUMAN NEIGHBOUR?!"

"... It's tolerable." 

You didn't want to admit that you liked his dish, so you 'hmph-ed' and got back to your meal, not at all noticing that Papyrus had held his cheekbones as he swooned in bliss at your 'compliment'.

The other two, seeing that you were enjoying the spaghetti-of-horror, swirled up a few strands and fed themselves. Unexpectedly, you saw Sans's eyesockets watering, whilst the girly turned green in the face. You could see how hard they were trying to force themselves to swallow, which made you all the more confused. It tasted fine to you.

The noodles were as sweet as your favourite candies, and they even have a slight crunch to it like those fruit loops you love. The sauce, on the other hand, smoothened the texture and you even tasted a bit of dark chocolate and caramel in it. The combination almost sent you to heaven by how divine it was. It was as if the chef had taken all of your favourite foods into consideration and mix it together to create this masterpiece.

"I MADE EXTRAS. DO YOU... DO YOU WANT ME TO PACK THEM UP FOR YOU TO ENJOY TOMORROW?"

Papyrus sounded nervous when he asked. 

You swallowed first before you reply with your chin held up high, "If you insist."

This, apparently, was enough to make orange stars appear in Papyrus's eyesockets, his grin widening to impossible extents.

"I INSIST, HUMAN NEIGHBOUR!! I'LL BE SURE TO PREPARE THEM FOR YOUR TRIP BACK TO YOUR APARTMENT AFTERWARDS!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

"Y-yes, friend. Please, take... more. And by more, I mean...why don't we give them all of the leftover spaghetti, Papyrus? So that they can enjoy the full extent of your cooking?"

Whilst Lancaster distracted Papyrus, you saw how Sans was using his magic to slowly remove the noodles on both their plates bit by bit, and you have to commend him for his superb control. The only Monster you knew who had space magic was balls at it. So bad that they even caused a black hole to appear and it sucked in a whole village before you managed to knock them out.

Ah, the good ol' days.

"yep. we can't _pasta_ p an opportunity for our neighbour to enjoy your cooking, bro."

"NYEH!"

The lass flipped her hair back as she jokingly said in anger, "That's _pastably_ the worst pun I've heard by far, Sans."

The short skeleton replied in mock indignation, "and may i know your  _risoni_ ng behind that statement?" 

"As much as I a _dough_ you, Sans, you're such a _noodle_. You're running out of _sauce_."

"nah. i'm just waiting for you to _ketchup_  to my level."

"Only because I haven't _mustard_ the strength to."

"now you're just being _saucy_."

"STTOOOOOOOPPPPP!!! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING FROM HEARING SUCH HORRIBLE PUNS!"

"but bro. you don't have ears."

"AUDIBLE GASP!"

Dinner continued like that. With Sans making distasteful wordplays, Papyrus screaming in agony whilst pretending that he wasn't enjoying his brother's humour, Lancaster giggling gleefully as she listened to their banter, and you simply eating your fill, even asking for seconds (and thirds). The spaghetti was the best you've eaten by far - but maybe that was because you haven't eaten a proper meal in decades. Your diet mainly consists of snacks, chocolates, candies, and cereal (if you weren't too busy).

For once, you didn't mind the noise. You simply felt content as you sipped a glass of golden flower tea that Papyrus had prepared. It helped wonderfully with digestion and kept you warm as the night progresses.

Somewhen, everyone had moved to the living room and was watching a movie. Lancaster and Papyrus were sitting on the floor with their backs leaning against the couch, whilst Sans and you were sitting crossed leg on the couch. When your cup of tea was drunk to the last drop did you finally realize how cosy you were acting. And that, was simply, unacceptable.

You couldn't afford to form ties with mortals that would die in the blink of an eye. You weren't a masochist. Everyone needed to be kept at a distance, preferably with a 10ft pole. 

Without further ado, you set aside your cup and stood up, causing the others to look at you with curiosity. Interestingly enough, there were no guarded suspicions in their eyes/eyesockets when they turned to you.

Lancaster asked, "Do you need the toilet?"

You replied disdainfully, "Even if I do, why would I even use yours? Who knows what's been in there."

She rolled her eyes, not even paying your rude comments any mind.

"Yeah yeah. Are you heading back now? Why not wait for the movie to end first?"

"OUR HUMAN FRIEND IS RIGHT, HUMAN NEIGHBOUR. THERE ARE STILL MANY ACTIVITIES LEFT TO DO. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAS PREPARED MANY PUZZLES FOR US TO BOND OVER! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!"

Papyrus was already half-way out of the living room when you grabbed his humerus, halting him in his steps and causing Sans to stiffen, his eyelights trained on you.

"HUMAN NEIGHBOUR?"

"You need not bother yourself. I'll see myself out."

You released your hold and turned on your heels. As you placed your hand on the door handle, however, Sans's deep voice caused you to pause. He sounds... wounded... for the lack of better wording. 

"wow. and here i thought you weren't bad company. rude as always, ey, neighbour?"

Without looking back, you spoke to Lancaster.

"Dinner has been bearable."

When you left your neighbour's apartment, you ignored the discomfort in your chest - pushing away Sans's ~~hurtful~~  arrogant words out of your mind as you entered your home. As if he had not been rude himself. The nerve. 

The first thing you did was make a beeline towards your study, boot up all of your electronic devices, and summoned your group of 'experts'. The phantom hands and masks appeared and floated above the keyboards, waiting patiently for the computers and laptops to start up. Soon enough, the study was filled with the sounds of typing and clicking, causing you to relax your shoulders and enter back into familiar territory.

The whole night, up to morning, was quiet. The three muppets didn't cause a racket, and your game was now a quarter away from completion. You estimated that you would be done in a month or two, and you couldn't wait to release it.

You leaned back in your chair, closing your eyes as you push for your brain to figure out how to make your trailer attractive to gamers.

_Ding!_

Cracking an eye open, you saw that it was a notification. Since you had nothing better to do whilst you brainstorm, you clicked on it. The moment you read the contents, however, you almost fell off your chair in your haste to sit straighter.

> _Dear SeptiCandy,_
> 
> _UPipe congratulates you for reaching the 10,000,000 subscribers..._

You didn't bother to read the rest of the message, already jumping for joy after having confirmed that you did, in fact, reach ten million subscribers on the worldwide video sharing website; UPipe. 

Who knew that people enjoyed watching you spill venomous commentaries whilst you were gaming? It was definitely a good thing that your borderline offensive humour was appreciated online - the money you make whilst speaking antagonistic words was lovely, too. 

When you had first discovered UPipe, it was still a brand new website. You had been restless at home, so you decided to make a costume based on one of your game characters, thinking that it would be similar to an advertisement when you post it online. After a week of perfecting it, you took a couple of cool photos to post on your HeadTome wall but got distracted when you saw your online friends chatting about UPipe.

After having registered, you played around and begin to explore it, but because you weren't familiar with the site, did not notice that you had been filming yourself like a fool - in full cosplay, too. But that wasn't how your first 'live video' got its attention. It was when you got bored of browsing the internet for cat pictures that you switched to playing that time most popular FPS game; WhiteShot. 

The vulgarities you spew when your teammates KS-ed you or made a fool of themselves, as well as your professional shooting techniques, gained the attention of a few pros. They shared and linked your live stream, and soon, millions had been watching as you shot acid and borderline offensive insults over and over again, all different and more creative than the last one. After hours of WhiteShot, you had then noticed that your webcam was on.

Of course, you freaked, but ultimately, you started to stream. You gained popularity and fans, and now... You were one of the top gaming channels in UPipe.

Since you were overjoyed with your achievement, you decided to do a live stream to thank your subscribers. With a neglective wave of a hand, your team of experts disappeared, not minding that their work has been cut short on a whim.

You ran to your unused bedroom and dived into your wardrobe. When you pulled your hands out, they were holding an outfit of a character from Overwatch; Sombra. One of your guilty pleasure was cosplaying, and you didn't care whether you dressed as a female or male character. Your subscribers didn't know your gender, and you preferred to keep it that way. 

After having dressed as Sombra, you carefully styled a wig before popping it over your head. You then pulled out a green mask with eyeholes and a cross on it, making sure that it was secured so that nobody could guess your identity. There was an inbuilt microphone inside, so you didn't need to worry about your viewers being unable to hear your words clearly. This mask was considered your symbol of sorts.

And yes. It's rather basic. So what if you were too lazy to give a fuck? People did buy your merchandise, no matter how retarded they appeared. 

Making sure that your outfit was perfect for the very last time, you dashed back into your study and jumped into your comfy computer chair. Without further ado, you turned on the cam and placed a sponsored headset over your ears, testing the mic and getting the best angle. As soon as you streamed, people and fans began to appear, gaining thousands of viewers within seconds.

"Good day, my lovely miscreants. I would **love** to welcome you with pleasantries, but that's not important enough to be listed on my agenda today." You waved your hand nonchalantly as you leaned into your seat, making sure to look as overbearing as possible. "The reason why this broadcast is so unexpected is that I just received a notice that I have reached ten million subscribers."

You sighed out loud, making sure to sound as disappointed as you could. You looked away from the camera to pick up a cup of tea, pretending that you were enjoying the aroma and looking as evil dictator-ish as possible. Basically, acting like a pompous aristocrat (which you had been thousands of years ago, to be honest). 

"And here I thought I've knocked that Swedish hillbilly off his high horse. That man's head is so far up his arse he doesn't even realize that only little girls and boys are watching him nowadays. Childish commentaries and overly dramatic reactions ain't my _cup of tea_."

And yes, your online persona loves puns and sick jokes. SeptiCandy was someone who is a little clumsy, yet sophisticated and disdainful. Likes to talk shite about their fellow streamers and UPipe-ers. Your viewers loved SeptiCandy's personality, and you would join those little devils when they troll you - like that one time you were voted the 'Asshole of the year' by UPipe viewers all around the globe.

"Well, can't blame them, I suppose. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that crap. No wonder there are so many blind people these days. Now then... I'll start off with some standard Q&A before I begin shooting down naive and wet behind the ears competitors - if they could be called that. I've seen 5-year-olds play better than these guys."

Your eyes shifted to the other monitor beside of you, finding an appropriate question for this session.

"Ah. Found an arsehole junior. We'll make a man out of you soon enough. Terminator27 crudely asks if I am a 'hot babe' or a 'sexy dude' because I seem to sound like either one to him." Without even a pause in your movements, you changed your teacup to a coffee mug. "To be brutally honest, Terminator, you're profile picture is hideous. Please change it or find a surgeon to fix your ugly _mug_. Whilst I know you lot are curious about my gender... I don't care. Did I hurt your feelings? Boohoo. Next question."

The comment section was full of laughter, as well as scalding insults. You grinned behind your mask as you let loose a chuckle, enjoying how excitable your viewers were acting. Their responses fill you with joy.

"Wow. You ill-mannered lot sure are persistent. If I said I'm gender-fluid, will I get another query not relating to my gender? No, my sexuality is out of the question as well. My goodness, such unpleasant company I have today..." Your words didn't match your tone of voice, too amused to truly be mad at them. Setting aside your mug, you wiggled a finger at the camera. "Ooohh. I see an interesting one. MyBigD114 asks if I am truly this 'nasty' and 'offensive' in real life or am I simply acting. That's easy. I am-"

You were interrupted when you heard ~~Papyrus~~ one of your hateful neighbours screaming for his brother to pick up his socks in the living room. A groan escaped you involuntarily and you facepalmed, not even caring that your mask was digging painfully into your skin.

"Excuse me whilst I exterminate some vermin."

Throwing aside your headset, you marched around your computer table and jumped onto your sofa, your hands already formed into fists as you punched the wall.

"Can you pillocks please shut your pieholes and let me work in peace?!"

You suspected that this wall was connected to Sans's bedroom, or at least outside of it when he was the one who answered.

"when i pick up my socks - sure."

"You fucking skiver! As if **you** would clean up. I'm ignoring you."

"be my guest. maybe we can get some silence for once."

"Oh?! Pot calling kettle, bonehead!"

"d'aw. a compliment from you? i'm flattered."

With an angry slap on the wall, you circled back to your computer table and sat on your seat, a tired sigh leaving you as you put your headset back on. When you turn to see the comment section, you paused when you saw your viewers having a kick at your misfortune. You fondly smiled at the screen whilst pretending to grumble at them. 

"I apologize for such unsightly behaviour-"

As if trying to irate you more, Sans's voice flew through the accursed wall, "who would accept an apology from an insincere hypocrite like you?"

"I wasn't talking to you, arsehole!"

"... which poor sod are you disturbing? I pity them so much."

"Excuse me?! Stop pestering, shorty! Where's your brother?! He's supposed to be keeping you in line."

"wow. you're shorter than me, shrimp. temper too."

With twitchy fingers, you flipped the bird to your wall, glaring at it as if it was the one who had personally offended you.

"... We're going to ignore the nuisance and continue. Let's see... nope. Stop asking about my hateful neighbours. Ugh... Oh, finally. MarkElves22 asks what my favourite food is. Well, that's..." You would've said chocolates without pause if you had not tasted Papyrus's spaghetti, so you hesitated. "Spaghetti. Someone cooked for me some really good spaghetti yesterday so I'll be making that my favourite food for now."

When you saw a flood of comments teasing you for your lack of friends, you flipped them the bird. But when you saw those comments change to 'you like the cook so much that you made their noodles your favourite food', you choked on air.

"W-w-what?! _Spaghetti_ outta here, you cretins! I do not like the guy! He's annoying, and loud, and awfully naive for someone of his age. I'm no paedophile! Excuse you, CannonBallqwerty. Your words are horrible. What do you mean I'm being hypocritical? Orphan jokes are funny! What you said was completely inappropriate. Oh? Hmm... Well, I find that talking shite about orphans quite refreshing. Who are they going to tell, anyway? Their _parents_?"

You cackled alongside your viewers, not having heard a Sans's soft laughter as he eavesdrops. 

"Before I answer WreckingChickens4aLiving, goddammit, mate. Your profile name is appalling. Your picture too. Who in their right minds would wear that kind of naff clothing? Where did you find it? Your gran's? Absolutely horrid. Shame on you. But to answer her question; no I won't be collaborating with any of the other UPipe-ers anytime soon. Their personalities turn me off. Besides, an arsemonger like me tend to die alone - and by extension, you maggots too."

Turning to the clock, you raised a brow. Wow, time sure flies when you're having fun.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen. Time for some arse kicking. If you wish to join me, you know my IGN in Overwatch."

You entered the FPS game and smirked. Time to pound on some noobies. 

* * *

 ;)

* * *

**For the next chapter:**

**①** Go to the  eSport tournament you had been invited to.

 **②** Go to your favourite  video game shop.

 **③** Go to the yearly  cosplay convention.

 **④** Stay at  home and work on your game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that do not read my other fics - the reason why I was so slow in updating this is all due to my carelessness. Forgot to save my drafts... Sigh~ Well, at least I managed to write up a, more or less, decent draft afterwards and form it into this somewhat decent chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading this! It fills this writer with DETERMINATION!╰(▔∀▔)╯
> 
> P.S. You should try mixing dark chocolate into your spaghetti sauce. I love it. (´┓`*)
> 
> P.P.S. Check out my latest fic [Jack of all trades](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13934628)

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my stories and would like to show your support, please consider buying me [coffee ](https://ko-fi.com/V7V5HKR7)@ https://ko-fi.com/V7V5HKR7 ! It'll be heavily appreciated! (๑•̀ㅁ•́ฅ


End file.
